A video from my new YouTube channel ♥
A video from my new YouTube channel ♥
So I figured I’d respond to the “Daily prompt” of the day from “The Daily Post” which is “The Ring of Fire!”. Which I find a hilarious title really about if you love/hate spicy food! 🙂 (2 blog posts in one day, what’s happening to me :P)
Spicy food is huge love of mine. It’s even in my “About Me” section. I could even go as far as to say that I’m addicted to spice. There’s just something so therapeutic and yummy about Indian food to me. To really go into it I have to go back to when I was a very small child. My earliest memories are of being brought to the Balti Houses and restaurants in Birmingham/Coventry/Kenilworth depending on where we lived at the time. My parents were huge believers in making sure I was involved in the food they ate and they always made me try something to see if I liked/disliked it. It was an exciting social event and I always looked forward to it. I believe when I was 4 I started eating Indian food and my go-to dish was a Chicken Korma with rice and Pineapple Juice. This is a very sweet curry made from coconuts. Perfect to train your child slowly into exotic foods 😛 I still remember the aromas when I walked in hand-in-hand with my parents, the smiling faces from the waiters, the colorful walls and pictures, the small burning flame of the candles. It was the start of my love affair with Indian food. The smell of spices sizzling in the kitchen now brings me straight back to my childhood and that’s something I’ll always take comfort in 🙂
And now I have an extremely high toleration for spice. I think my favorite would have to Lamb Madras. Beautiful. And my boyfriend shares the same passion in food and for me this is perfection! This means we love to waste our Sundays cooking food all day, having some bottles of beer and listening to music in the sun. It’s a huge bonding experience, something you can be proud over and share. Just last week we made this! Onion Bhaji’s, Chicken Bhuna, Cardamom Rice and Naan.
Unfortunately disaster struck this year. I was diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) so if I eat too much spicy foods, I pay the consequences. But god damn it, it’s hard to resist! I think Indian food has the social concept done exactly right. It’s not fancy, served up for you and expecting to be gawked and looked it. It’s pure soul and comfort food. It warms you from your toes up and makes you happy inside. Also, everyone helps themselves and a lot of people (myself included) like to eat with my hands with the Naan/Parathas. So in that sense, it’s perfect for family/friend dinner time and making it a social celebration of food. God I’m making myself hungry now just writing this. Taa-raa people! 🙂
Stay spicy and beautiful! ❤
So today I thought I would write about something maybe a bit heavy, but something that has been close to my heart and thoughts for a long time. Something that I feel I need to get off my chest. They say that to really appreciate life, you have to of experienced a time where life was not good to you. Where times were tough, when you got back on your feet, where you saw the beauty in things for what they were. I can honestly and truly say that I understand that concept.
For the past 2 years, I suffered with depression. It’s crazy writing it down.. However, it wasn’t a constant stereotypical thing that a lot of people today imagine (lying in bed, in the dark, not showering or eating too little or too much).. although I did have some days like that. It hit me at the age of 19 first. It slowly crept up on me, like a thin grey rain cloud during a sunny day. You know it’s there… but you hope that if you ignore it, it will go away. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I was in my second year of college, living away from home. I kept pushing the feeling away, but by doing so I pushed a lot of people away. A lot of friends away. I suffered from low self esteem suddenly for the first time. I started feeling like I wasn’t good enough, maybe even paranoid that people didn’t like me. And so the “shutting myself inside” phase began. My grades began to suffer. And the stage of “hermit Ciára began”.
I had and still have a fantastic boyfriend at the time, and he really helped me. I probably wasn’t 100% honest about how down I was feeling. We were only together and I didn’t want to scare him away. However I can say that until I moved back home to my family at the age of 20, I was in a dark place. And I never went for help. Or told anyone. I didn’t even admit it to myself. Surrounding myself with loved ones, my family, friends and boyfriend really helped. Moving back home for my final undergrad year helped wonders. My grades picked back up, I lost all the weight I gained and I can say I was happier than I had been in a long time. Of course I still had my days but who doesn’t. I felt like my dark times were behind me, I didn’t need to admit it to anyone and I could live on as “normal”.
But it hit again. At the age I am now, 21, I had my first breakdown. The feelings came back and I was so afraid of living in the dark again. I finally opened up to my family, telling them everything after a lot of crying and gasping breaths. The worst part was, I had no reason to feel this way. My family were desperately searching for answers, for some logical reason for me to be so unhappy, and I felt so selfish for putting them through what I was going through. Also, I felt so guilty for what I was putting my boyfriend through. For the first time I was pushing him away too, and I felt I was helpless to control it. I still feel bad when I think back to how I must of made him feel. However, we pulled through it. He is truly an amazing person for being so patient with me.
And now I can say the happiest I have ever been. Because finally with the support of those closest to me, I sought help. I went to my doctor, I got time off work and college. I took time just for me. When people leave school and are tossed into the world of college/work, unreal expectations are thrown your way. You’re always told “it’s going to be the best years of your life”. So much pressure to make the most of your years in college, to do well and make new friends, it’s a lot for some people to handle. Sure a lot of you might of had plain sailing. But I can certainly say I sure as hell didn’t. They don’t warn you about the fact that you will lose contact with a lot of school friends, that you’ll feel lonely surrounded by hundreds of people, that you’ll be thrown headfirst against a lot of pressure over grades and finding your place in the world. And that you’ll feel selfish for all these thoughts in your head. The reason why I wrote this piece is I want young people to know that they are not alone. Don’t be afraid to let go of your school friends, everyone goes down different paths. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t liked, it means that everyone has different lives. Surround yourself with people who love you but most importantly, don’t afraid of being alone. Learning to love yourself and be happy in who you are is the most important thing you can do. Also going for help is the smartest thing you could ever do. Don’t be ashamed to admit that you need help. It’s there for you. Don’t let people scoff at you because you are so young, teenagers and young adults can have depression too. In fact it’s rising. And the more we raise awareness to this fact, the more we can make the most of our young years.
So chin up beautiful people. Don’t be afraid. Embrace life while you can. Be happy. ❤
Yeah so it’s been what… 7 months? Not gonna lie I kiiiiinda fell off the blogging scene. And the simple reason for that is that as soon as I wrote my last one, life went crazy! Moved to Dublin, started life in a new place, a new college, a new course and with new people. SCARY! :O
But I regret nothing 😀 it’s been seriously awesome! This course at the moment is challenging as hell and right about now I want to pull my hair out over the assignments I have due. But still, I love it! Because it challenges me and opens my eyes to so many issues we have in the world today. This semester I have chosen to study Political Terrorism and Human Rights Law and it’s a huge workload. But it’s helped me see that when I leave college, I want to help people. And hopefully travel one day and see the world. That’d be swell.
But for now I’m going on lots of short breaks! I went to Budapest (which is in Hungary) last February which was so beautiful. I’m going to Croatia in June with my parents and Amsterdam in July with my boyfriend! So it’s going to be an exciting year to say the least! In the mean time whilst I’m off seeing these places I’ll also be writing my thesis. Hopefully the college I’m in will actually like it and let me graduate! 😀 Masters Degree baby woooo!
Right now I’m having some writers block and I figured writing this would help me get typing something at least. Anyway, Ima go and bang my head against the table a little bit more. 🙂 promise I’ll write soon!
Adios guys. Stay classy xo
(left – right) The Houses of Parliament in Budapest, Rubbing the Police mans belly for good luck :), St Stephan’s Basilica, Ice Skating beside Buda Castle, Joe and I celebrating St Patrick’s Day at the local parade, Lucile, myself and Airam = best room mates! ❤
so it’s been a while.. 🙂
how are all you lovely people?? I hope all your summers have been amazing and that you are all well and healthy.
I myself have had a very hectic but fun filled summer! I am currently typing this on my phone in my new accommodation in Dublin. Why am I in Dublin you ask? Well because I got that Masters degree I wanted 😀 that’s right guys.. I am now a Ma in International Relations student in DCU and I couldn’t be happier 🙂
Also I went to Zakynthos with my parents and Joe in June and had an absolutely fantastic time 🙂 The Greek people are so kind and accommodating and the island is such a beautiful place. Also your money will stretch a very long way there 🙂 I would highly recommend there 🙂
so when I came back it was a lot of work shifts in the fast food place that I work and then in August it was my 21st 🙂 a long night of music, food, drink, dancing and good times! Had the best night of my life 😉 (pictures coming soon)
In September then was my Dads retirement and my graduation from NUIM! Two very big celebration one after another and I got very emotional leaving Maynooth! Made some incredible friends there and I have memories that will last me a life time.
Joe and I together 2 years on Friday so that’s a mini celebration too 🙂
so come on guys, let me in on your summers 🙂
Serious 60s music is being listened to right now. The lyrics and tune fit my mood right now. What a better way to not do my essay ❤
You can have the best intentions, but when it comes to college assignments, everything else seems so interesting and important